Slower Than Christmas (Explicit)
From SAWMILL RECORDS
DO NOT GET THIS SONG Are you SERIOUS Amazon. If I could give no stars I would. This is not Christmas music. It is full of foul language and does not talk kindly about Christmas (which happens to be one of my favorite times of the year). Do not get this song. Amazon I understand you get what you pay for, but normally I love your free selections and look forward to them every year. Please do not put anymore music like this on again. Anti-Christmas, anti-family song. I deleted it. I actually downloaded this song last year when it was offered for free on the strength of the fact that I actually like Billy Bob Thornton's singing. This song has the dubious distinction of being one of very few that I subsequently deleted. I will usually even hang on to music that I only feel lukewarm about because my feelings may change. I was disgusted by this song. It isn't that I get all high and mighty about language, or that I can't take songs making light of the holiday. This song is nothing more than ungrateful complaining about having to spend time with relatives you don't like. It isn't funny, it's annoying. If you don't like the holiday, or don't want to spend time with your family, do something else that you enjoy, but don't be a wet blanket for everyone else. For the record, Christmas At Ground Zero is a hilarious song by a truly talented musical comedian. Billy Bob is quite talented, but he is not a comedian and should avoid attempting humor as a focus in his songwriting. I don't know if his intent with Slower Than Christmas was truly to be humorous or if he was just spilling sour grapes, but it stinks either way. As if the subject matter wasn't bad enough, the execution of the song does not redeem it. It is a bland, tedious number, which gives you more attention to spare toward its message of ungratefulness than might happen if the music were more entertaining. This is a song that I could only recommend for people who hate the Christmas holiday, so why in the world would they be looking for that on a Christmas song listing? In choosing this song to be part of the 25 Days Of Free, Amazon shows a disturbing lack of judgment that I hope will not be repeated. Not worth your time. I readily admit that many enjoy comedic music, which often is crass. This is not for most, if very many. I realize that these songs are usually tongue-in-check. I personally don't care for music that tears down others and reinforces pretty negative stereotypes of spending time with friends and family during the holiday season. They may be better spending time building relationships with family than writing songs like this, although, that may not be as financially profitable. Again, I know that this is a pretty serious view on a comedic song, and many like this type of humor. I just don't care for it and want to help others save their time (or money) if they happen to prefer traditional Christmas music. (Zero stars if possible.)
